Tuesday, October 20, 2009


I love October. I usually hate it because I'm hiding the kids eyes from scary decorations at the mall or at various other stores. But it's not bothering me so much this year. I'm not sure why. Fall is in full swing here and the temperature is beautiful. We actually had freezing temps a couple of nights this weekend. And I love it.

We went to the park last night for family night. We only had about an half hour before the sun set and we spent our time holding Chloe up and pushing her around on her "new" garage sale find, roller blades. We did actually go garage sale shopping the weekend before last. And I did find some cool things. Besides Chloe's roller blades (they're probably Barbie, I can't remember) I also got a computer desk for $5 (painting project to follow) and brand spanking new running shoes for $15. A guy in a subdivision down the street from us is a sales person for Adidas and had all manner of brand new shoes for really cheap. I was going to buy the same shoes in a different color from Costco but they were $22 dollars more. So I was willing to have purplish trim instead of turquoise. I was also given a piece of art with the desk. The owner just wanted to get rid of it and being the creative soul that I am, I thought I could do something with it. I'm still thinking about it but it may end up at Goodwill. It reminds me of Frank Lloyd Wright but Amanda says it looks "so 80's". We'll see.

I'm contemplating some changes. Not huge ones but maybe blog ones. It's the things that are going on here plus health problems that my dad is having that make me wonder what I write for. I originally did this to keep in touch with family and friends that are far away. So that people could see pictures of the kids and hear the funny stories that you miss when you live far away. Occasionally I'm willing to post deeper thoughts but what's it for? I'm not super-inspirational-has-all-the-answers girl. There are enough blogs out there that do that. And I guess I'm just really sad when I look back at the things that I've written. How hopeful I've been in the midst of everything and not realizing why things were so tough. It seems like a lie. I'm tired of lemons and most of the roses I've been given were tools of manipulation (ex-boyfriend). I think I'm tired. So do I just put on a game face and keep going? Post about cooking and decorating and cute kid stuff and forget about everything else? An escape because I like writing sometimes? I'm not so good at a game face. I feel like a phony and I hate feeling like that. Do I scrap it all and start over? Maybe. I can't really imagine not having a blog. I know I can't just leave it hanging out there undecided, that would drive me nuts. I don't feel to weird writing all of this since there are only about 2 people that read my blog anyway. So I'll decide something relatively soon I think. Until then, I'll enjoy reading your blogs and listening to your lives.


Mary said...

I for one have enjoyed your blog, so I hope that you don't stop blogging. I guess I look at our blogs as the way we can get together and chat at this stage in life. While we are still running around with kids and living a good distance away it allows some familiarity and some outlet that we don't get otherwise. The only difference is, we invite a lot of other people to our little table that just listen and don't contribute.

Christy said...

Well, I think that blogs can be whatever you want them to be. I think this one could morph nicely into whatever you want it to be, but a fresh start can be nice too. Either way, keep writing - even if it's just for yourself. And *especially* if you don't have the answers. Those of us that also don't (read: everybody, really) appreciate knowing that we aren't alone.