I've been sick lately- a lot. Actually it's gone on for about 5 1/2 years that when I workout strenuously I get sick. I like to work out hard- it makes me feel good. I know that some people don't understand that but it's just how I am. So a couple of months ago I went to the Dr. (because Travis made me) and laid out the sickness routine- I work out strenuously for about 3 days in a row and then I'm sick for 5 days and up to two weeks. I told him that we'd been under a lot of stress for several years and he said that when you're under stress your body released a hormone (that I can't remember the name of) and it's the same one that Dr.'s give to transplant patients to wreck their immune system- and it's very effective. I was happy on the one hand to hear him say that because it's just not natural for someone to get sick as often as I do and it's frustrating. I can't count how many days I've spent lying on the couch when the kids are outside playing. I resent not being able to be as physically fit and as active as I want to be- it's all just very frustrating. So I've kept working out and kept getting sick. And all this time I feel the Holy Spirit saying to me "relax". Relaxing is not in my nature- I need to achieve and conquer something- always, even if it's just reaching that next level on the exercise bike. But on Mother's Day I decided to take a walk with Chloe. We decided to walk in the neighborhood across the street from ours- the one with the crazy-expensive houses. So as we walked we came across a series of ponds that the developers call "lakes" (I really hope the residents didn't pay extra for that- I'm from Lakeland and I know what a lake looks like) and then came across a dock. Chloe and I walked out onto it and saw lots of medium sized fish (probably bream) and turtles and a goose. I think they were waiting for us to drop some breadcrumbs but alas, we had none. We had so much fun and it was so relaxing- even though we walked for an hour and a half. So yesterday we decided to walk again and took Halle with us since Travis was mowing the lawn. We went back to the dock and had a seat this time. The turtles that would disappear under the water if we flinched the day before seemed very curious and some swam right up to us- including a small alligator snapping turtle! Chloe said to the goose, "sorry goose no bread" since we'd forgotten to bring it along. And Halle mimicked her saying "sowwy goof, no bwead", with her hands out and a shrug of her shoulders. It was slightly breezy and the girls had the happiest looks on their faces and I thought, "it's just not worth it". I guess my desire to work out has to sit on the shelf for a while. I'm going to take it easy and walk for a while- which I don't really like. In the past walking was what I did on those days that I felt like a slacker. But I'll walk and take Chloe with me (or anyone else that wants to tag along) and stop and smell the roses that she picks for me and get better.
The stress of our crazy lives has brought me to this point but I know that God is restoring us. I'm not content to say that this is just how it is. God has brought us through this amazing and painful journey and while I believe that we're at the end of that journey, our journey into restoration, healing, and ministry is just beginning. I will be climbing mountains again soon.